Difficult Topics

I heard an Amber alert this morning on my 35 minute drive to work and tried to put myself in the parent shoes. It was just a news item about how the alert system was changing so that it would be faster and hopefully more effective. We hear these things all the time and they are always from someplace else or about someone else but what would it possibly feel like,even for a short a short time beside the fear, the questions, doubt, and later the anger. Empathy is an emotion unique to humans they say but this is a hard topic to write about and follows the concept outlined in last blog about writing being hard work. So why not try a difficult topic?

A call came this morning that I feared would one day arrive. Once before, I received a call stating that the children were not in school and have been pulled. The day after thanks giving how ironic is that. Six hours of waiting wondering if they were safe, wondering if they had been taken across the line to the states, where some of her family lives. The brain takes you places that are ugly in situations like this. Thinking the worst and pleading for the best. Hoping beyond hope that it is just a surreal dream you’re about to wake from and knowing it is just your brain trying to cope in a rationalized way. Looking back I saw the signs. No wedding band, parties that went all night, phone calls from unlisted numbers, hang ups in the middle of the night,personality changed over a period of time. Then a business trip to Trinidad without a hotel room coupled with working hours from 8 pm to 4 am. New start up Computer Companies often have those hours I was told, but do those people working in those companies look like they dressed for clubbing I asked. Anyway, papers arrived by courier soon after, then court dates followed by a Doctors baby, born in early spring. This was followed by more court dates with the Doctor I have heard or was told when she asked if I would sign an affidavit on her behalf. Life is different on a big screen T.V. So flash forward to this morning when the message was left on my machine saying two of the children have not showed up for school. Thoughts of six painful hours in the near distant past and reflections on what I read somewhere said by an University lecturer about predicting behavior based on past behaviors. In essence if someone has a history of doing a certain action they will continue that behavior in the future. Some people who are always late with plausible excuses tend to be late in the future. This relates to children being removed from their school and their home and then in turn, don’t get to see their father for three weeks. The chance after this incident occurring more than once is greater than that with her words echoing “I am a flight risk too”. All that in less than five seconds as I wait for the school phone to ring. Hello Mr. Wright! They just walked in the door. Your children were 16 minutes late. Thank you for the call as the tension drains form my system and I hang up feeling like I run 26 miles against the wind in a very hot day.

"Double espresso please", as I place my order. That is as strong a drink that I will have at this Java Bar drive through. The song on the wolf playing is I will walk alone by Greenday. I sense it is going to be a long day. After a long wait, the evening before, sometimes people have to stand up and be recognized. Stop letting others treat you like the remains left in an outhouse. The song on the radio changed as Amanda puts on Voodoo!