I lay my head down

The best slow death
Waking up in that cold sweat
Wondering where I have been
The cancer eating me
From the inside out
The cloudy haze only dulls
The quick witted
Blending night and day
Part of me never letting go
Another part gave up long ago
I lay my head and close my eyes
A dream without sorrow
Life does  not care
If you are happy or sad
If you have made good choices or bad
Life is the best leukemia to have
Searching for perfection well spent
Searching for the unattainable
A happiness gone unrealized
Already something else before found
A long line of  the rejected
I lay my head down to sleep
Thinking I will do a repeat
And the day is already gone